Storm Warriors Are Rising Over The Ribut Genting

Recognise those swords in the poster above? No? Then you probably don't read Hong Kong wuxia comics then, because those are probably THE MOST famous weapons in the Hong Kong comics world - The 雪飲狂刀 (Snow Drinker sabre) of 聶風 (Nie Feng / Nip Fung / Wind / Badai), and the 絕世好劍 (Ultimate Superior Sword) of 步驚雲 (Bou Keng Wan / Bu JIng Yun / Cloud / Awan).

Yes, almost 11 years after the last movie, they have FINALLY come out with a new 風雲 movie (That's Fung Wan / Storm Riders / Storm Warriors / Ribut Genting / Pedang Setiawan to you non-Chinese-ed fellas.).

I'm quite excited about the movie because I've been a fan of the comics ever since I was a kid, and though I really hated the first movie, this new one is based on one of the best story arcs in the comics - the 死戰 (Death Battle) arc.

After seeing some stills and some clips of it, I'm looking forward to it even more!

Ok, sure, Simon Yam looks damn bodoh in his armor. He plays the villain Lord Godless (絕無神) in the movie, but he looks more like Rhino from the Spidey comics... OUCH.



But at least the two leads look pretty good in their costumes, though when I was in Bangkok to watch them shoot on set last year, the two of them look damn old. Sampai wrinkle wrinkle habis.

This is Ekin Cheng as 聶風 (Nie Feng / Nip Fung / Wind / Badai):



And here's Aaron Kwok as 步驚雲 (Bou Keng Wan / Bu JIng Yun / Cloud / Awan)



I also saw a short clip of the movie on it's Facebook page, and it featured a part of the battle between the two protagonists.




Funnily enough, I actually saw them shooting part of this scene, and it looked nothing like the film - just a couple of guys banging wooden swords together. LOL.

Anyway, the movie should be out in the end of the year. Woot! Now get me one of these posters!

How to defend the new Transformers movie: An expert guide

Sure, the Transformers sequel ain't perfect. But I still love it. After the second time, I'd already learned to tune out during the boring bits and just focus on the bots and boobs on show without giving the story or dialogue too much thought.

Anyway, I've still been getting a lot of people coming up to me complaining that the movie is stupid and giving me stick for giving it four stars in my review. And the critics have been slamming it left right center (IMHO, I think all those critics are missing the point. But that's another story...). But that's not stopping it from grossing over USD200 million (and >USD400 million worldwide) in its FIRST WEEKEND.

Inevitably most of the grouses were about the stupid story, the bad dialog, and Megan Fox (funnily enough, most of these were from the girls... I wonder why...)

But fear not! For I've compiled a list of ready made answers for the FAQs I get all the time. So, if you are a fan of the new movie and are getting stick for loving it, fear not! just use these answers in your argument and make THE OTHER PERSON feel bad for NOT loving it! LOL

What did you think of the movie?
I think it is exactly like the first movie, minus the novelty factor, and with EVERYTHING amplified. The GOOD parts (robots, transforming, Megan) are bigger and better and there are more cool robots; but at the same time, the LOUSY parts (annoying characters, lousy dialogue and stupid plot) are also worse, and there are more annoying characters (the Twins, Agent Simmons, that annoying Leo, the parents).

But the movie is so DUMB, and the story doesn't make sense! (from a colleague)
Well DUH. OF COURSE it's dumb and silly, it's based on a line of TOYS and directed by MICHAEL BAY, for gods sake. It's not meant to be ANALYZED. Just sit back and enjoy the mayhem.

The characters are so annoying!
OK, I have no defense for this one, because the characters ARE annoying, even some of the bots (I kept wishing the twins would get stomped by Devastator). And that Leo Spitz dumbass is so annoying that even the original Transformers Annoying Guy - Agent Simmons - couldn't stand him. And can you believe Bay wants to give him a BIGGER ROLE in TF3? *shudder*

How can you love such a stupid movie?
See, this is called 'managing expectations'. If you went in, like me, expecting a stupid, mindless action-packed movie with lots of cool giant robots, then you'd love it. If you expected good story, Oscar winning acting and thought provoking dialogue... then you're watching the wrong movie, right?

I can't tell one robot from another!
To tell the truth, neither could I, especially the Decepticons. That's because there were so many of them, including 'clones' of the Constructicons who were supposed to be in Devastator... But at least we could still tell ones that mattered (Prime! Bumblebee! Jetfire! Starscream!) apart from the usual cannon fodder.

There's not enough time for the human characters! I want more Shia/Josh!
Who cares? Bay can kill ALL of them off and have just Megan Fox and the Transformers alone in the third movie for all I care...

Megan Fox is so unnecessary! She does nothing but flaunt her sexiness! (from Fireangel)
er.... your point is?

Megan Fox is so boring! (from Suanie)
Er.... her being boring is the least of our concerns for Her Foxiness lor...

Megan Fox's slo-mo scene is so uncalled for! (from a male colleague)
What are you, gay?

Durian Starfish and the Stinky Farts.

This gives a whole new Malaysian definittion to the term 'Chocolate Starfish'...

Salud! All Hail The Thirsty Blogger!

Dude, you are one mad fucker, you know that?
Who else can start a booze blog, writing about nothing but ALCOHOL,
And then have a fucking MEDIA LAUNCH to launch your BLOG.
A PARTY with a whole fucking CASE of Smirnoff Black,
Three bottles of whiskey,
AND a few bottles of fuckin' ABSINTHE thrown in for good measure.
(which tastes of VERY STRONG HACKS)



Had a BLAST at the party, where you can MIX YOUR OWN DRINKS.
Yes, who NEEDS bartenders when you can do it yourself!
Stuck to one alcohol all night
(Multiple Smirnoffs with various mixers, in case you were wondering).
And got kinda wasted. GAH.



Fireangel I know had a blast with the drinks,
Even Suanie thought it was one of the best parties she's been to ever!



SALUD, brother!

All hail the Thirsty Blogger!



PS: Thanks for the Kelapa Rock recipe!

RIP: Michael Jackson, The Eternal Gloved Moonwalker

R.I.P.
MICHAEL JACKSON
(1958-2009)

You were the Thriller who genuinely thrilled,
You were the Bad ass icon who defined my childhood,
You told everyone who dissed you to Beat It,
I Remember The Time we all wanted to Rock With You
You were the Man in The Mirror who told us to Heal The World
You were the Smooth Criminal who defined cool music videos,
You were neither Black nor White but always evergreen.
Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson, The Eternal Gloved Moonwalker.
You were Gone Too Soon, but You Are Not Alone anymore.

RIP: Farrah Fawcett, Original Angel Of Charlie

R.I.P.
FARRAH FAWCETT
1947-2009

You were one of the Original Angels,
Who would have kicked Drew, Lucy and Cameron's over SFX-ed asses.
Yours was the poster that adorned 12 million walls,
And graced two Playboy covers.
From Ally McBeal to The Guardian and even the Six Million Dollar Man,
You stole the limelight every time you had a scene.
But you will be best remembered as the Angel in THAT red swimsuit.
Rest In Peace, Farrah Fawcett,
Lady In Red, and Original Angel Of Charlie.

The Third Ice Age Melts Into a Pool Of Water

Ice Age: Dawn of The Dinosaurs.
a.k.a. Ice Age 3
Not a Review.
The first Ice Age was decent.
The second Ice Age melted a little.
This one was just one pool of water.
Ok if you liked the first one (and second one) you MIGHT like this one,
Kids might like it too.



It's mostly more of the same.
Scrat and his acorn
Manny and his moaning
Sid with his antics.
Diego with his... er... emoing.
Nothing much different there.
Except for the dinosaurs, of course.



Wait a minute, didn't the dinosaurs come BEFORE the Ice Age?
What are they doing HERE then?
Oh, it's a CARTOON.
Heck, if houses can fly on balloons and cows with udders can be male,
Why can't there be Dinosaurs in an Ice Age, huh?
So what if our kids grow up thinking weasels talk like Simon Pegg?
Screw science!



Anyway, I forgot how annoying I HATE Ray Romano's voice.
Every time I hear him MOANING I feel like punching him in the face.
They should rename it Everybody Loves Raymond Except Eyeris.
On the other hand, John Leguizamo isn't annoying.
But his CHARACTER Sid here is.
Simon Pegg is funny though.
Moby Dick WTF!
The rest of the cast... er... who?



Everything here just seems so recycled.
Inter-species mammal-reptile relationships? Wasn't that in Shrek?
Baby anxieties? Wasn't that in Shrek 3?
Scrat and his Acorn adventures? The trailers were funnier.
Sid and his bumbling ways? Wasn't that in the first movie?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.



Anyway, this was incredibly underwhelming.
Then again, the first two weren't overwhelming in the first place.
This one was even more forgettable than Monsters Vs Aliens.
At least I went HA!-HA!-HA! during MvA.
This one was more HEH-HEH-MEH.
UP is still the best animated movie this year.
Heck, it's still the best MOVIE of the year.

Mad Hat Depp Is At It Again!

We interrupt the slew of Transformers-related posts on EoE today for a special Johnny Depp news flash.

Yes, the one-time heart-throb of 21 Jump Street, who will be appearing in Michael Mann's Public Enemies as himself (well, as a Johnny Dillinger who looks like Johnny Depp anyway) will next be appearing in another movie as a character that doesn't look one bit like Johnny Depp.

Presenting.... The Mad Hatter from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland!



Reminds me of a cross between Willy Wonka and a broom. Should be interesting to see how whacky he gets in this role this time. It IS called the MAD Hatter after all... Hey, maybe after this Christopher Nolan could get Depp to join the Batman movies as the Mad Hatter as well. He wouldn't even need to change his makeup!

Oh, other than that, head over to USA Today or Empire (which links to the USA Today article that HAD the pictures but are no longer there strangely... gone down the rabbit hole, perhaps?) for pictures of Helena Bonham Carter as the really weird Red Queen (OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!) and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen

Ooh, and if you head over to USA Today, you can check out some really cool concept art for the movie in a stranely fascinating interactive image... click on the white rabbit below to check them out!

MORE MORE MORE MORE THAN MEETS THE FIRST MOVIE!!!!

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen.
Not a review.
Otherwise known as Farmstoners: ROTF (LOL)
Sorry, inside joke.
Saw it later than I would like,
But still earlier than everyone else!
(Until tonight, that is, at the Nuffnang thingy)
(But then, tonight I'd have watched it TWICE oledi MUAHAHA!)
Is it worth watching THAT many times?
Oh hell yeah.



IT'S BIGGER!
IT'S BETTER!
IT'S BOT-IER!
IT'S BATTIER!
IT'S BANGBAMBIFFBOOM-IER!
IT'S BAYHEM-IER!



MORE EXPLOSIONS!
MORE ROBOTS!
MORE EXCITEMENT!
MORE BOT-ON-BOT ACTION!
MORE TRANSFORMATIONS!
MORE BOT ON BOT ACTION!



MORE DECEPTICONS!
MORE AUTOBOTS!
MORE OPTIMUS PRIME!
MORE OPTIMUS PRIME SWORDS! (WOOHOO!)
MORE OPTIMUS PRIME KICKING ASS! (WOOHOO!)
MORE (AND MORE) OPTIMUS PRIME! (KICKASS!)
MORE STARSCREAM DISAPPOINTING MEGATRON!



JETFIRE! (SR-71 BLACKBIRD WTF!)
SIDESWIPE! (Oh yeah, he's GOOOD)
IRONHIDE! (KICK BUTT!)
SOUNDWAVE! (Oooh, creepy)
ARCEE! (Errr.. okaaay)
SKIDS AND MUDFLAP! (Er.. nnoying!!!!)
DEVASTATOR! (er... that's it?)
WHEELIE! (WOO..ho.. er... bleh).



MORE MEGAN FOX! (WOOHOO!)
MORE CLEAVAGE! (Cleavage rating: 9.5, with added bouncing bonus!)
MORE SHIA LEBEOUF! (ERR.. NOT SO WOOHOO!)
MORE AGENT SIMMONS (Kill him off already)
MORE ANNOYING HUMAN CHARACTERS! (Kill them ALL off already)
MORE HUMAN THAN MEETS THE EYE!
MORE TERMINATOR THAN TERMINATOR!



MORE COOL CARS!
MORE UGLY ROBOTS!
MORE INDISINGUISAHABLT ROBOTS!
MORE METALLIC MAYHEM!
MORE LOUSY DIALOG!
MORE ANNOYING CHARACTERS!



Yes, this movie IS MORE than than meets the last one,
It's got more EVERYTHING,
MORE good parts,
MORE bad parts,
MORE budget to spend,
MORE time in the cinema,
MORE Megan Fox (always a good thing)
MORE cool cars (VERY cool indeed)
MORE annoying characters and lousy dialogue,
MORE robots and transformations,
and MORE great moments than the first one.
Yup, I think I'm even gonna watch it MORE than the first one.
ROLL OUT! YEAH!

FIVE YEARS With my Eye On Everything

This is me celebrating FIVE WHOLE YEARS of nonsense on this blog. Yam seng!

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(Update: 10:35am)

Ok ok, since it's a momentous occasion and all, let me just make my obligatory five-year celebratory post a little longer.

It's kinda weird that this blog has lasted this long, considering my analness about being 'anonymous' all this while, and the fact that it's not even about me per se. It may have started out as a book blog but it's evolved into something a lot more broader and more entertainment based than just books (I haven't even done a book review in like, AGES).

Anyway, here are some of my favorite posts on the blog, a list which was kinda hard to compile on account that there ARE FIVE years worth of material comprising 1329 posts in total.... Hope you had as much fun reading the blog as I had writing it! YAY!

(BTW, I'm not including any from 2009 though. Nothing very momentous lately... sigh...)

Here we go!

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MILESTONES

• Bandwagon Jumping (The first post EVER on EoE! It's not much, but hey, at least it got the ball rolling... and rolling... and rolling... and rolling.. and rolling...)


• Happy Green Day! (The first music post ever on EoE, and how appropriate it should be that it's American Idiot....)


• The Face behind the Blog: Eyeris Exposed! (the first time I posted a picture of myself on the blog. Well, sort of.)


• Are you a Hardcore Football Fan? (Setting up HANTU BOLA!)


• A (sort-of) Experiment in Certain Mentalities (This post it self is nothing much, but it IS about one significant moment in Malaysian Blogosphere history... it's the day Suanie got her face on the front page of the paper! Heh heh)


• Eleven questions I wanted to ask during the PPS bash (Another milestone in Malaysian Blogging History. I don't think there's ever been a bloggers meet quite like it ever since (And no, Nuffnang parties don't count. And check out the picture of the Femes Four! A skinny Suanie!)


• The Searches that Eyeris Reveals (At the time, this blog was second to some IT company. Now, if you Google 'eyeris', you get Eye on Everything on TOP! WOOT!)


• Kempen Belog Merdeka '05 : Lua-Puluh Minit Sebelum Hali Medeka (This was a crazy one. Vincent and I actually came up with a whole Merdeka Kempen to blog in Malay, and I went and changed EVERY SINGLE TEXT in the blog, including the sidebar, to Malay. Damn I had a lot of time to kill back then... Other two posts HERE and HERE)


• The COMPLETE Girls of the Malaysian Blogosphere Special Edition 2006 Calender! (Never mind putting her on the newspaper cover. Suanie's a fuckin' CALENDER GIRL!)


• My Moments of Musiclarity (Says a lot about how highly I think of myself when I actualy coined a word to describe my own music tastes. hahahaha)


• The Flaming Ghostly Mat Rempit (The first ever Movie Not-Review! On Ghost Rider, of all movies... WTF)


• eNuffnang Said (Eyeris sells out!)


• The Attack of the Plastic Robots on Cineleisure (Showing off my toys in public. Well, SOME of them anyway...)


• Jiwang Tuesday #1 (The One With Budi Weather) (The first ever Jiwang Tuesday! Now send me more Malay songs so I can post more of em!)

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ALL WHACKED OUT

• An Ode to Gandalf the Colorful (Oh dear oh dear. What was I taking at the time? See also An Ode to Darth Vader)


• Panduan LOTR (ENG-BM-AB) yang unik sekali (I loved doing these translations. I don't know why I stopped.... oh wait. Oh yeah, I got lazy. For more, just go HERE)


• The Wedding Album: Greatest Hits (I quite like this one because it was one of the first times I posted a gag that I'd been telling people a lot but never really got it down on paper until then.)


• How To Identify Snakes and Spiders: An Expert Opinion (Somehow, I'm STILL getting hits from Google for this one. Even though it's utter and complete nonsense...)


• Potential Harry Potter Spin-offs (This was way too much fun to write. heh heh)


• The Eyeris Coffee Song (I love this song so much I wrote a Morning Fix Remix AND a beer spinoff! LOL)


• Bleh. (the annual affair that has to be read to be believed)


• The Most Meaningless Conversation In the World (I miss all my pointless conversations with Fireangel. Oi come back from Sillypore already, bitch)


• How to Make a Submarine: An Expert Guide (another post I get a lot of hits for. And I didn't even have proper tequila then!)


• The Eyeris Limited Edition Bubur Kit Kat! (One of the strangest experiments ever...)


• Optimash Prime, Defender of the Potatoverse! (The first appearance of Optimash Prime, and the beginning of the Tater Capers!)


• Shitty Potatoes Lead the Optimus Prime Charge (I've made a few of these Fun with Toys and MS Paint strips, but this is one of my favorites. hehehe)


• Revoltech Smackdown Series #1: Macross one-on-one, with special guest referee, Optimus Prime! (another toy comic I had lots of fun doing... the second in the 'series' is HERE)

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SELF-RIGHTEOUSLY IRREVERANT RANTS

• When is a Blog not a Blog? (I actually used this post as a disclaimer for some time. Considering how far blogs have come since I wrote this post, I still think that my rant is pretty relevant. See also: A Blogging-Journalist's Rant on Blogging)


• Why I like being a writer (Hmm... reading this again makes me wonder why I don't feel the same way anymore. After all these years of writing, have I become a little too jaded these days?)


• Spoilers Spoiling the Spoils (Wanna know why I'm such a stickler about spoilers here? Read this post. Heh)


• I Solemnly Swear not to Swear... Too much. (Because come to think of it, me preaching about not swearing is like Fireangel preaching about not drinking... LOL)


• Writers: Before and After Blogs (eheh heh)


• How Books Are Banned (a whacked out post about a serious issue...)


• How To Review a Book Without Getting Complaints: An Expert Guide (written after some local author wrote the paper complaining and nitpicking about a review I wrote about his book. Heh.)


• You're a Celebrity? So Fucking What? (The title says it all, really. hehehe)


• Don't Call Me a Blogger Either. (Yeah. What FA said.)


• How to Tell The Difference Between a Journalist and a Blogger: An Expert Guide (Oooh this was about an issue that really pissed me off. Heh.)

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GLOATING POSTS

• One Foot Away from The King of Dreams (Meeting Neil Gaiman. Heh heh. See Also: The King of Dreams in all his shaggy-haired glory)


• The Many Faces of the Kings of Concert Ecstasy (Meeting the Kings of Convenience, AND watching them in concert!)


• A Rush of Blood to the Head At the Speed of Sound (Up close and personal with COLDPLAY!)


• Bay Transforms Awesome Autobots and Devilish Decepticons (Being the FIRST IN THE WORLD to watch Transformers, AND meeting MEGAN FOX!)


• Eyeris @ Comic-Con: First Day Daze (Visiting the San Diego Comic Convention, where I met Frank Miller, Grant Morrison, John Howe, Tori Amos, Dave Gibbons and the entire cast of Terminator Salvation and Watchmen!)